Grief has been running rivers through my heart these past few days.
You left us early and with little warning.
Half a world away and more than ten years since I have seen you.
Yet, the weight of your impression on my life remains.
Your exuberance for life, your passionate love for your Savior,
And your gentle care for those around you nudge me in those directions.
You continue to make me want to live my life full of love and purpose.
It was bound to come
Tourists are going home
Leaving the beaches and the board walks
School bells are ringing
Teachers are working hard again
Last minute shopping to get the son still left in college
Supplied with peanut butter and pencils
That crispness is in the evening air
Our sunny days are numbered
Time to buy the winter fuel
Started a knitting project two days ago
(Don’t tell anyone but, I am missing the rain)
Life and Time are moving forward
We are all ushered into their dance
No one gets to sit it out
All is changing
All is turning
© 2012 Julie Clark
The ache in our hearts
Is the call
To come deeper
Come closer
To the One
Who sees us
Knows us
Loves us
And satisfies us
Beyond all measurement.
We don’t always
Recognize
The voice
In our pain
We run
To another
Temporary comfort
That leaves us
Hollow and unsatisfied
Self-hating and
Aching for
The true source
Of all that we need.
It is a learning
To be turning
Towards that faint sound
Of the rushing river
To be seeking
In desperation
For that Living Water
Like a deer
Panting
A matter of life or death
To find and
To know that
We have been found
And we are known
And brought safely
Home.
© 2012 Julie Clark
I.
Is there room in my heart
For the ones excluded, tossed out, forbidden to enter?
Can I scoot over
Just a bit, move my junk
So another can lie down and rest
For awhile
Until it is safe again to venture out?
It’s a stretch
I like my privacy
My quiet my space
I’m tired and weary
But they more so.
II.
So here I am
Trying to live the life
I believe in
Yet, struggling to do so
Something in me
Just wants to be left alone
To be quiet
To have some space
To get well and strong again.
But there are too many
Who have far less
Peace than I
Who need something
That I have plenty of.
Can I just share and be glad
Because I know it is all worth the while
To give away my extra
To another
Somehow it multiplies
And I end up with more
Than I had to start with
With joy beaming on top
Like a shiny red
Cherry smiling
From a hot fudge
Sunday.
© 2012 Julie Clark
I am the traveler
On a journey
You are the gate
To the path, the way
That leads to life
You are the light
That shines in the dark
Illuminating my way
You are my strength
When the road is steep
And my hope grows dim
You are my shade
When the sun bears down
You are the song
The birds are singing
To cheer my heart
When it becomes heavy
My companion
When I need to talk
My GPS
When I lose my way
You are the strong love
That keeps fear away
When wild things
Rage and roar
The sword that flashes
When danger nears
You are the fresh water
In the stream
When I grow thirsty
You are my home
At last
That I am forever
Longing for.
© 2012 Julie Clark
A mattress on the floor
Will do for a while
It opens up the world
For life and adventure
I would miss
If I insisted on sleeping
Only in my own room
With my elevated
Queen size mattress
Off the floor
I would have missed
So much bustle and activity
Being available
To hold a new-born baby
Colors bursting forth
In fabrics, faces and flowers
Handing out fresh bread and water
To the hungry and the thirsty
Yet, I am starting to miss
That elevation
And the tranquility
Of familiarity
Discerning the times and seasons
Is important now
Before I wear too thin
And have little to give
I believe it is time to move
Back off the floor
© 2012 Julie Clark
In the wee hours tomorrow morning we will begin our journey home. I am tired but happy. Two months away, from where I now call home, is good for this 54 year old, mom and new grandmother. I’ve been stretched a bit, which is always a good cure for fossilization.
My overwhelming feeling is gratefulness. I am grateful to have been near when my grandson was born and help his parents in the first three weeks of his sweet life. I am grateful that there is still work for me to do here in these Asian lands where I have spent two thirds of my adulthood. To see life and growth in those I have invested has brought much joy to my heart. I am grateful to continue to work with and walk along side my partner and husband of 33 years.
The dramatic Central Asian spring bursting in color and freshness contributes to my feelings of hope. Truly life is at work in our world. Seeds push through the ground after awhile and life is renewed. The natural world mirrors the spiritual world. The Kingdom of God intersects with our lives on planet earth and life continues to burst forth. It takes some perspective combined with time to see it happen. For time and perspective I am also grateful.
Bread of heaven
Coming down from the Father
Giving life to the world
I take this bread
I believe in the One sent
To feed the world
The life it so desperately needs
Being gluten intolerant
It’s wise to switch from this earthly bread
Which makes me sick
I can’t digest it
No life in it for me
Maybe we are all gluten intolerant
When it comes to
Substituting
Bread of Life
For whatever we fill our hunger with
It will kill us in the end
Instead of nourishing us
And bringing
Life forevermore
© 2012 Julie Clark
Come into the present
Come into this holy place
This is where I meet with you
This is where heaven meets earth
Today is the day
Step into life
Let’s get it started
Take your first breath
Step into life today
Step into freedom
Open your eyes and say
Think I’ll step into life today
This is a gift for you
The day the Lord has made
Soon you’ll be dancing
Cooing and singing
No turning back
Stepping into life today
This afternoon in the 102 degree F heat we were all sprawled out all over the apartment, worn out. It is amazing how one tiny 8 pounder can wear out so many adults. Didn’t Hilary Clinton write a book about how it takes a whole village to raise a child? We are getting that idea.
This bright evening star, Sohel, has captured our hearts with his sweetness. We spend hours anticipating his cute little expressions and moves. Those pursed lips and startled hand movements. There is nothing in the world like a newborn baby. He started out very sleepy, basically, “Can you just leave me alone it was hard work being born?” Now that his Mama’s milk is in he is realizing there are some good things about being awake.
We are grateful that the doctor caught right away his distress in the womb and was able to safely deliver him via C-section. Now his Mama is recovering well and we are happily here for a little while longer to help in these early days of his life.
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