Life

New beginnings

Posted on January 3, 2012 by backfromtheborderlands

1/1/2012 New Years Day Sermon Notes

I love that God our Father gives us new mercies every day.  We don’t have to be stuck in yesterday. Or even be the same as we were yesterday.  There are always new beginnings for us. There are new chances to start over, to make things right, to begin again.  We even get to be born anew.  How cool is that?!  And the best of all He is making all things new: a new heaven and a new earth.

I am struck by the fact that we have a part to play in our new beginnings.  Our choice.  This is a gift that God has given to every person that makes these new beginnings possible.  It is the gift of choice, or the gift of free will.  It is a precious gift.

We can say yes.

We can say no.

We get to choose:

Light or dark

Life or death

The power or authority to choose is ours.

Every day we choose which path we are going to follow.  This is where we meet God.

He chooses us, we choose him.  He does not force us to love and follow him, but invites us.  Then the choice is ours.

He shows us the way – we choose to follow or not

He invites us in to the banquet – we choose to stay out in the cold or come in

Sounds easy right?  But why is it so hard?

Why do we struggle so hard to do the right things, to say no to the wrong things?

Jesus said some really strange words once:

Luke 16:16 “The Law and the Prophets were proclaimed until John. Since that time, the good news of the kingdom of God is being preached, and everyone is forcing their way into it.”

I am not sure I know exactly what this means but I get the sense there is some action on our parts to enter this kingdom. We have been given an Inheritance from our Father.  It is a gift to us.   Yet, we have a part to receive it.  We can think of it as a matter of a few legal issues.  Can you imagine the daughter or son of a very wealthy person who has just inherited all of her/or his Father’s estate?  I think there are few legal matters to take care of in order to claim that inheritance.  #1 Prove who you are. Yes, I can prove that I am the heir.  Sign a few documents perhaps.  It is not going to do you any good if you just point down the road to the property and say yeah, that is mine, and not do anything about it, to claim it.

I think this is where again we meet God with our free will.  He invites us to come into his kingdom and join his family.  We have a few things to do to claim our inheritance.

Agree to the adoption

We belong to Him.  He is our Father.

Leave our old house and come into his.

Sign up and follow him.

Back to the question why is it so hard?

We forget we are in a battle.  One of the areas the enemy strikes us at is at our will.  He wants to get us to lay it down.  It is very dangerous to him when we use it to choose the things of God: The good, the light, the life.  It pushes him right out of the picture. He lives in evil, in darkness, in death. He tries to get us to believe we can’t do it.  Anybody ever hear voices like this in their heads: “It is just too hard.  Or you have failed before why even try?  You have messed up this far, might as well keep going.  It doesn’t really matter.  You’re never going to be able to change.”  We have heard them so much that we start agreeing with them.

On the contrary: “We can do all things through him who strengthens us!”  We can! We are able.  We have the gift of free will.  We have authority. We just need to learn how to use it.

Titus 2:11-14 “For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people.  It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age,  while we wait for the blessed hope—the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.”

Another reason it is hard.  Between choosing and receiving our promises there is often a space called waiting. We don’t like to wait.  We pretty much want everything now. It is an important part.  The waiting is a preparation for the gift.  Sometimes we aren’t quite ready for it.  When we wait we get stronger.

Isaiah 40: 28-31:  “Do you not know? 
   Have you not heard? 
The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. 
He will not grow tired or weary, 
 and his understanding no one can fathom.  He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, 
 and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope (wait for) in the LORD 
 will renew their strength. 
They will soar on wings like eagles; 
they will run and not grow weary, 
 they will walk and not be faint.”

One more verse to help us with our resolutions:

Hebrews 12:12-13 “Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. “Make level paths for your feet, so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.”

You see we have a part in our healing.  We strengthen our feeble arms and weak knees….then we wait. In that  waiting and strengthening our Healer comes.

This is really good news.  Everyday is new. Everyday we have the opportunity to walk more into our inheritance. We get to choose to say yes to our Father, hoping in Him and waiting for all that He has promised us.

Categories: God, Life, Sermon Notes | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Looking for the Light

Posted on December 13, 2011 by backfromtheborderlands

It is dark and gloomy outside,

And inside for some of us.

This is my third Christmas back,

And I think I am finally getting it, about all the Christmas lights.

We need light!

We crave light!

It reminds us that there is hope,

That we will not be consumed.

It is our stand against this encroaching darkness.

Yet, somehow this darkness is our teacher.

Slow down, relax, build a fire, eat some soup, sleep,

Give way to this season of life.

Waiting is not giving up, it is an inside growing and maturing.

It is where hope gives birth to faith.

I am reminded of another search for light.

It’s about a people walking in darkness who saw a great light.

It’s about a star pointing the way on a very dark night in a very dark time.

This light is still shining and making a home in us,

Until, we are a City on a Hill,

Shining brightly and giving light for all to see.

I am also reminded to look for the light in others.

It is there!

We are all image bearers of God.

We all have light sides and dark sides.

Can we search, as in a treasure hunt, for the diamonds in others?

When all around is so dark,

It is time to shine for others who are struggling in their battles with the darkness.

It is time to lend a little more light to them.

Use our good deeds: our hands, our feet, our ears,

Our words of encouragement, and even our money.

Whichever way we shine the best.

© 2011 Julie Clark

 

 

 

Categories: Faith, God, Hope, Life, Poetry, Seasons | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

The Last of the Plum Tree Leaves

Posted on December 2, 2011 by backfromtheborderlands

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The last of the plum-tree leaves

Are stubbornly hanging on

They have been through storms of rain

And shaking wind

As the darkness keeps growing

Encasing us on both sides of the day

Their fallen comrades have been raked

Piled and composted several times now

Storm drains cleared again and again

Keeping a lake from forming in the middle of our street

When will these last holdouts succumb

To the pull of gravity and their fate?

What still clings to me, dead and dying?

What still needs to go of my negative attitudes and unbelief?

Impatience and arrogance

O Wind shake them off!

What about doubt and despair?

Yes, please come and blow them away too!

Something in me wants to hibernate for a while

I am ready to

Let the outer bareness take over

And surrender

To an inner working

Where strength slowly gathers

Like sap in the inner core

Eventually after a long winter’s rest

To give way to new life and being

But not just yet

Let the rain, darkness and wind come!

Shake me once again

Until all has fallen that needs to fall

For this season I now embrace

© 2011 Julie Clark

Categories: Autumn Poems, Life, Poetry, Trees | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Gratitude

Posted on August 17, 2011 by backfromtheborderlands

Receiving not grasping

Thanking not demanding

When I do this

It changes my heart

From self-centered, woe is me, how hard is my life stone

To warm

Glad to be alive

Gratefulness

For all I have

The beauty that surrounds me

(When I open my eyes fully to see it)

For those I love and who love me

Making room for more love and more gratitude

When I cannot be grateful for something directly

Because it is too painful and I can’t see its purpose

I can move around it being thankful for what I can see

And in the meantime my heart will expand to include more

And perhaps gratefulness for the good will dislodge the bitter weight of the evil.

It is more than looking at the world through a glass half full

What about thankfulness that the glass is half empty

There is room for more to come into that half empty glass

More opportunity to grow and to receive

Unfinished and limited am I

Yet still alive, ever-changing and growing

Ingratitude limits and restricts

Making the world smaller and harder

Pulling down into a spiraling vortex

Seeing without hope is a kind of not seeing

I will take rather the wings offered

To soar above

With the eagles

© 2011 Julie Clark

Categories: Faith, Life, Paths, Poetry | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Three Poems of God as I see Him

Posted on July 25, 2011 by backfromtheborderlands

God is

God loves

God is working through the chaos

Look back

Look beyond

Hasn’t he always been?

His reign continues

His door is open

His invitation remains

The fire has been burning

Since our first parents

Grasped what was not theirs

It burned then

It continues to burn now

Until the day

All that can be burned will be gone

And what will be

Will be glorious and pure

© 2011 Julie Clark

Call me Treasure

Call me Pearl

Sought and found

You the merchant

You the farmer

All sold

All given

Until I was yours forever.

Only now

Can I love

Because I am loved

By the first lover

Can I give

Can I live

Breathed on

With fresh life

Responding daily

To my name

Treasure and Pearl

© 2009 Julie Clark

Heartbeat of God

Ever reaching for His children

Justice and Peace

He longs to bring with

Connection to His streams of Life

His life breathes life into what is dead or dying

Reviving, weaving, creating purpose

For each new day.

©  2010 Julie Clark

Categories: Faith, God, Life, Love, Poetry | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Seeds, Fruit and a New Life

Posted on May 15, 2011 by backfromtheborderlands

Bill and I met Scott in a sports bar last night.  We were there because of NBA playoffs and a bad cable connection.  Bill had been waiting all day to see the game.  So when he couldn’t fix the cable and it was a no-show for watching the game at our house we started talking about a Sports Bar.  He did a little research on-line, we pushed back dinner plans and off we went.  We walk into the bar with 4 TV’s going and men sitting around watching and chatting.  We find our little table and start focusing in on the game.  Bill brings out the moose dice he got from our 80-year-old buddy in Colorado.  He loves that game! We watch the game, sip our beers, and play a little moose dice during the lulls.  As the game is winding down Scott comes over and says, “Hey, what game are you playing.”  We invite him to sit down and we’d teach him.  Well, we never got around to that. Instead he starts pouring out the pieces of his broken life.  He has a little girl, a broken marriage, and drug and alcohol addictions. He has a Lutheran background, but where is God?  Who is He? We told him we were sent there just for him.  We never came here before and probably won’t come back. We had a message for him. God loves him and hasn’t forgotten him.  Later I wished I had added, “you can turn your life around now, today, one step at a time, God will help you.”

Scott made a lot of choices to get to where he is today.  We each make choices everyday.  Galatians talks about the seeds we sow.  Seeds are small, if you don’t look close they seem insignificant.  But if you plant a row of little carrot seeds, after a while you will get some delicious orange vegetables.  If you plant a row of weeds what will you get?  Seeds produce fruit, the fruit produces a new life.  That is what counts.  Not keeping rules and laws, but letting the Spirit help us to make good choices, plant good seeds, bear good fruit, live a good life.

At one point Scott pointed to the men around and said: “Divorced, divorced, divorced – all of them!”  Not only that but we heard in the same 24 hours several stories of divorce, brokenness, drunkenness leading to bad decisions. Ok, Lord what are you saying?

Little things are important.  Very important.  They add up to become big things. Choices I make every day.  Choices to love, to forgive, to accept, to work on relationships, instead of giving up.  Choices to be kind, to be patient, to be self-controlled, not to be angry.  We make these decisions everyday.  They add up!

For Scott

Am I lost or am I found?

If I party hardy will I drown?

Lift my head up

See the light

Take my feet out of this mess

See the path laid out for me

Drying out along the way

It’s clearer now

More like the day

If I focus I can stay

Now I see the hand that guides

I feel the presence by my side

Lead me home

I want to go

Now I see where I have been

Away from You

My wounds so deep

My heart is shattered

How can I live?

Your words bring hope

I will listen, not lose heart

Stay this course

You’ve got my back

© 2011 Julie Clark

Categories: Faith, Life, Paths, Poetry | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Christmas Eve

Posted on December 24, 2010 by backfromtheborderlands

This time of year always reminds me of my gaps and limitations.  There are so many things I can’t do.  I can’t bake enough cookies to give away to neighbors and friends and still have enough for the family.  (My mom always seemed to be able to do it!) I never send out enough Christmas cards or buy enough gifts.  There is always someone I leave out.  I forgot to get the butter out of the microwave last night when Suzie was baking our Christmas bread and I was helping her.  Hence, the Christmas bread is not moist and rich like it is meant to be.  Good natured, Bill suggested we just lather extra butter on top when we eat it!

Continuing on the theme of not enough.  I remember as a child opening my last present and being disappointed that there weren’t anymore pretty packages to open.  The gifts I give or receive aren’t always just right.  Sometimes they need to be exchanged for a different size or color. I also remember when taking back gifts, was the exception not the norm.  A gift was just that, something to be received and thankful for, not looked at with a critical eye as I’m taking it out of the box wondering if I can’t exchange it for something I like better.

I wonder if those who often suffer depression during this time, aren’t more keenly aware of these limitations.

Maybe this is just what I need reminding of each year.  Maybe this is the point of why that baby was born in a manger.  We could not do it ourselves.  We could not keep the laws of God perfectly to win our way back into his favor.  Our only hope was a Savior, champion, redeemer, who could do it for us.  And what a wonderful Savior he is! Yet, in his humanity he also experienced limitations.  Was that why he said his disciples would do greater things than he did?  We collectively, over the centuries, empowered by the Holy Spirit, pooling all our resources and talents would be able to accomplish more than one man on his own could do?

I am learning that it is OK to have limitations.  In fact, it is just how it is, so the sooner I accept that, the more at peace I will be.  I cannot save the world, but I have a part.  Sometimes that part seems insignificant , but it is my part and added to the whole it is making a difference in the world.

Categories: Faith, God, Life | 1 Comment

Selected Poems for November

Posted on November 30, 2010 by backfromtheborderlands

Snow Day

I listen to the soft crush of snow under my boots.

The snow muffled quiet brings a much-needed peace to the frantic city pace.

Enforced rest by steep, frozen roads is a hidden reprieve to many.

Why does it take an act of nature to teach us to be still?

Why do we shun silence and rest?

Are we afraid if we stop, our world will fall apart?

Are we afraid if we stop, our long ignored feelings and thoughts will rise in rebellion once we have slackened control of them?

It is like long ago we stepped onto a merry-go-round in the park.

At first it slowly turned, but with each revolution it gained speed until now it is moving so fast we can’t get off.

What is this hidden hand, pushing us at this frantic, out of control, speed?

The snow day reminds us:

We can get off the merry-go-round,

And our world won’t fall apart.

Rest will help our minds and bodies work better.

Letting go of control is good for us.   We really can’t control everything anyways.

Maybe our suppressed emotions have something to say to us, need our attention.

Maybe we won’t die if we listen to them and deal with them.

There is a good chance we will find healing.

© 2010 Julie Clark

The Great Exchange

 

You want this?

In your light I see

what I thought was good

To be full of holes

Like a worn out cloth

Hanging from the line.

You want this?

And what is this you offer in exchange?

A radiant purity that I cannot achieve.

A gift you say?

But I cannot release my filthy rags

Unless I move from my smug self-centeredness

To the center of that red-hot core

Called love.

How is this possible?

I will die at that core.

Yes, and live again,

Twice born.

Clothed in that radiant purity

You attained for me.

© 2007 Julie Clark

Fear

Fear has stocked me from childhood.

Like a restless tiger, it waits to pounce on its tired prey.

I’m done with it.

Realizing any fear leads back to the fear of death.

What’s so bad about dying?

It’s the only way out of here at present.

Out of here and into there.

Not that I want to rush things.

But in my time I to will follow my ancestors and every other man, woman and child before me.

I am facing that tiger and saying, my life is in stronger hands than yours.

I believe

I am beloved

And that Love that loves me is stronger than death.

© 2010 Julie Clark

Categories: Life, Love, Poetry | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Los Angeles

Posted on November 10, 2010 by backfromtheborderlands

I.

I am reacquainting with the land of my birth.

At first the brightness is a bit much for me.

I squint like a subterranean mammal.

My sunglasses aren’t even enough.

Later, up on the trails of Griffith Park

I am astounded by the view.

I can see the ocean.

II.

Growing up in the suburbs I never really knew this city.

It was just the city to drive through, catch a plane or to make short, infrequent forays into.

I once was intimidated by its size.

Now, I want to explore its streets and neighborhoods.

I want to find where my parents grew up.

Where is that hill my grandmother described to me where she lived?  The one the heavy doctor couldn’t make it up to deliver her first child?

Where did my mother catch the streetcar to take her to work everyday during World War II?

Where did my father first learn to drive? The office he worked in where he fell in love with my mother?

The biggest change I notice since I grew up and went away is how clear the air is.

I remember smog alert days at school with achy lungs, stingy eyes and staying inside to play.

The destruction of man subsides and the earth renews itself.

III.

Coming and going over the years, change is the constant.

There is always movement in some direction.

I think of the earth again, spinning on its journey around a sun that is on a journey of its own.

I miss, I mourn what I have lost, what I have missed.

The children growing, they don’t always remember who I am.

The years the dear ones aged and died.

I was never enough by their side.

Accepting my limitation is the challenge.

I will never do and be all that I hope.

I must learn to be content with the confines of one human life.

© 2010 Julie Clark

Categories: borderlands, Life, Poetry | 1 Comment

WEATHER OR NOT

Posted on October 26, 2010 by backfromtheborderlands

I’m glad our neighbors cut down their dead trees.  One was perilously close to our house.  The wind is whipping the branches around the rest of the trees and blowing the fall colors to the ground.   It will take a few more of these windy days to knock all the color out of fall.  We still have a little more time to go out and enjoy this season here in the Northwest.  In other parts of the world people are seeing winter knocking with its suitcases at the door, looking like it will move in for a long spell.

Bill teases me about my love for weather.  It’s one of the first sections I look in the newspaper every morning.  (I showed him how to read the tide charts and now he checks that too.) I have always been fascinated by weather.  As a child, books about extreme weather always caught my eye.  Maybe it was because I was from LA and our weather was so boring.

The typhoons of Southeast Asia were exciting to experience.  I was amazed when we landed in the middle of one in Hong Kong.  Our plane shuttered and dipped with tall buildings on each side, but landed undamaged to the relief of all aboard.  Once in Taiwan we decided to go to the movie theatre during a typhoon.  The theatre was pretty empty.  I guess most people found it safer to stay home rather than risk something flying from one of the tall buildings onto their heads.  I see their point now in retrospect.  During the big ones we stayed home and watched from our 4th story windows as the debris flew by and our building was buffeted by the winds.

I was not prepared for the harsh winters of Northwest China.  How could I be, having only seen snow fall once in my life?  Before moving there to start our English teaching jobs, we did some research and bought our winter gear through an LL Bean catalog.  One thing we forgot to do was check the winter fashion info for our destination.  So when we showed up in our Maine hunting boots that first winter we made quite the impression. You know the kind with the thick felt lining, rubber soles and leather sides. I was grateful that my feet were warm and dry, but I couldn’t walk down the street without all eyes (and there were a lot of them) focused on my feet. Most people never lifted their eyes to see the rest of me as they passed by in their sleek leather boots.  For the women 3 inch heals was the norm.   I finally could take it no longer and broke down and bought a pair of the high healed version of boots.  There were two problems with this approach.  1.) I, at 5’ 8”, was already towering over most women and had never really learned to walk in high heels.  2.)  Learning how to walk on ice was already tricky for me.  As soon as we got out to Hong Kong for our winter break I ditched those boots and found some more stylish flat ones.  Not an easy feat with my biggish feet for Hong Kong sizes.

Along with winter weather comes the challenge of keeping warm.  Southeast China can get pretty chilly and damp for a few weeks in the winter.  The places we lived never had any heating.  So we quickly learned the art of layering and understood better the need for padded clothing.  If all else failed we headed to bed under our thick cotton comforter.  When we lived in the Northwest there was always a certain date that the central heating via steam radiators came on.  That date more often than not was after the first snowfall.  We usually had a couple of weeks on each end of the season that we were pretty miserable.

In Kazakhstan there were other problems of staying warm.  In the early years during the coldest weeks the gas was low in the city. This meant very chilly conditions in our homes.  Later, we moved to a home that was heated mainly by a wood stove.  Simple enough except that dry seasoned wood was not always available or we just didn’t know where to find it. Following are a couple of poems that help capture my feelings during that period.

Entombed in winter

White, ice, cold

Slip sliding away

Crash, fall, trouble.

Let me stay home

By my fire.

For others joy

Ride, slide, ski.

I feel trapped

Waiting for spring thaw.

Wood is almost gone

It’s snowing outside

I’m hiding from my rascal cats

In my electric-space heater heated room.

© 2010 Julie Clark

Categories: borderlands, Life, Trees | Tags: , , , , | 3 Comments

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