Posts Tagged With: married

The Amusement Park Ride

The question came at our annual church camp out.  We were chosen because it was our anniversary that weekend and, well, we were up there among the couples that had been married the longest.  How that happened so fast I’m not sure.  I have so many memories of being the young ones, in-experienced, greenhorns, etc.  I guess if you just stick at something long enough you get to be the experts whether you know anything or not!

 

The game went this way.  Three couples chosen.  Spouses split up and asked questions separately.  Then, later answers are compared to see who really knows each other the best. If your married life could be characterized by an amusement park ride, which would it be: a roller coaster, a kiddy car, or the Fun House? I thought about it for a bit and it would have been easy to say a roller coaster, but really that is only part of it.  All the answers were true.  Those early years of marriage were pretty up and down with a few more bumps all along the way.  Yes, there were also years where it felt like our life was all about our kids and we couldn’t imagine it being any other way.  A few years ago I probably would have answered a roller coaster ride.  I answered the Fun House instead, because I am learning how to look at things from a more positive perspective.  The perpetually glass half empty gal is learning a new way of seeing the glass half full.  It has taken time, but I do feel much better about life when I look for things to be grateful for, rather than focusing on what I perceive to be negative.

 

In reality our marriage has mostly been fun, joy and adventure. I have been to more countries in the world than I can count on two hands.  I have grown to love the out-of-doors and have enjoyed the beauty of the backcountry.  I’m still a little nervous about bears, but hey, I have seen them in the wild and the most harm they have done to me is eat all my food while I was sleeping. I even have heard a cougar screech past my tent in the middle of the night and have lived to tell the tale.  Then, all the joy of raising our kids together really stands out.  Every little, new thing they did burst our hearts with joy and pride.  Then literally fun and games as they got older. Of course there were ups and downs, and sibling rivalry, but we weathered those storms and all grew together. We learned how to “live in peace with each other”.  That was our youngest son’s first memory verse when he was three.  Good verse for us all to live by.

 

Another thing about the roller-coaster rides, those were the times when iron sharpened iron, and our rough edges were worn down.  So now I am grateful for them as well.  The weak areas in our life showed up under stress and we were able to work on them with a lot of help from our friends, counselors and God.  So those weak areas were strengthened and our love for one another grew. So I can say thank you for them now, because they have made us better, stronger, more compassionate people.

 

So when husband came back to the campfire to give his answers with the other husbands.  He thought about what he thought I would say.  At first he said: “Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride?” which was not one of the given answers.  If you grew up in Southern California going to Disneyland every year or read the Wind in the Willows you know what he’s talking about. Then he answered Roller Coaster ride.  He was surprised that I had said Fun House.   “What’s happening to my wife?”  I guess it is taking time to get used to her drinking from that glass half full now.

Categories: beauty, Faith, Life, Love, Marriage and Family | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Zigging and Zagging

Bill and I are walkers. We have a half-dozen walking routes of varied lengths that we take depending on time and energy. One of our favorites is down by the beach but we need at least an hour for that one with a short drive to get there. The route we took today is about 40 minutes. It has a view of the sound, some hills, curves and crossing one mildly busy street. On one part we go up and down a couple of hills. There are no sidewalks on these side streets. I am always zigging and zagging across the street so I can keep the on coming cars, if there are any, in sight and get out the way if need be.  I don’t want to be on the wrong side of a hill where the driver doesn’t see me and I don’t see the driver.  I learned that when I was 16 and in Drivers Ed in High School.  In fact I learned a lot of things about driving and road safety in that class that lasted half a year and with an instructor who drilled every thing into our heads.  Now, Bill didn’t have Drivers Ed in High School.  He went to a small prep school and had to take private Drivers Training.  Let’s just say our Drivers Ed experiences were not on the same level.   I drive Bill crazy sometimes with my zigging and zagging across the streets, along with my back seat driving at times. I am also the family Safety Marshall. Not only do I zig and zag, I check my mirrors when I get in the car, and always check my blind spots when changing lanes. I also check for fire hazards in the house, move books and other flammable matter away from heaters, make sure the stove is off, double-check to make sure doors are locked at night, never leave the house without wallet or phone. You get the picture.

 

When we first were married we lived in my hometown.  Bill was able to find a job with the taxicab company driving a Dial-A-Ride bus for senior citizens.  He loved that job and those folks loved him too.  He got to hear lots of stories from their long lives.  One lady was booked on the Titanic with her Mother and the rest of her siblings.  The Father of this family was in America waiting for them to come.  He had a strong impression to cancel their booking and rebook them for the next ship rather than the Titanic.  Well we all know what happened and can only marvel at the message he received which saved his family from trauma and tragedy.  Well, on one of Bill’s days driving he had a reporter riding with him for part of the day.  Bill was in the paper the next day!  My favorite line of the story was quoting one of the passengers. She said, “He zigged and he zagged all over town but we had a wonderful time.” So I am not the only zigger/zagger in this family!

 

It’s great when we are in alignment and zig and zag at the same times. Those are smooth times and we are grateful to have some of those days. But those off times of zigging and zagging are the spice of life and what makes our life together most interesting! How boring it would be if we were exactly the same.  We need each other to keep growing in grace and love.

Categories: Life, Love, Marriage and Family | Tags: , , , , , | 4 Comments

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